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When Authority Collapses But Structure Remains

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Authority and structure are often confused, but they are not the same thing. Authority is carried by figures, roles, narratives, and permissions. Structure is carried by rhythm, limits, form, and consequence. When authority collapses, it does not always announce itself. More often, it simply stops functioning. The person no longer convinces. The role no longer contains. The explanation no longer resolves tension. What once organised behaviour loses weight. For many men, this produces urgency. The instinct is to replace authority quickly: another leader, another system, another explanation. The pressure to “fix” the absence is strong, because authority has often acted as a proxy for orientation. But collapse of authority does not necessarily mean collapse of order. Structure frequently remains intact. The body still knows how to stand and work. Time still requires sequencing. Tasks still have edges. Care still needs to be applied correctly. What disappears is not...
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Bipolar Hypomania Also As Physical Illness

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Originally posted by Neal Reid on his Facebook account on December 13, 2025. Shared here with his permission. Bipolar hypomania is generally thought to be a mental illness, and rightly so, but it's also a very physical illness. Anthony and I have had the same illness, a chesty and lingering virus. He was more or less laid up for two weeks, with a hacking cough, no energy and brain fog. He's himself again, but it was a horrible couple of weeks for him. By comparison, until now, I had one day off work more than two weeks ago. I've had days here and there where I felt worse, but I've largely felt energetic and cheerful. This is an illusion. I've had a hacking cough most days, but I don't even feel that as I should. There's no lingering pain in my chest, as there should be, it's just been annoying. I still don't feel that bad, but I'm pretty ill and need to rest and recover. My brain says otherwise, but I have to listen to my body. Psychiatri...
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Nothing Is Being Asked of You Right Now

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There are moments in a man’s life when no decision is required. No move. No response. No fixing. This is one of those moments. If nothing is being asked of you right now, the practice is not to invent a task. The practice is to stay coherent. Coherence looks like: keeping your body warm eating something simple resting without guilt not escalating your inner narrative Stabilisation is not passivity. It is restraint applied with intelligence. If pressure appears, check whether it is external or self-generated. If it is self-generated, let it pass. Nothing is being asked of you right now. That is not a failure. It is information. Stay with what is here. [image:Seçil Erel - Coherence Blue and Yellow, 2024] Contact Us | Sessions | Maps & Readings | Entries | Who I Am Share this post: Facebook | LinkedIn | WhatsApp | Bluesky | Mastodon
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When the Arrow Becomes a Body - The Art of Listening

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There comes a moment in every life when the aim you have carried for years arrives not as an idea, not as a plan, not as hope, but as a feeling that settles in the chest. Not before. Not after. At the edge where presence stops pushing and deep attention begins. This is not a destination. It is a stance. It is not something you manifest. It is something you say yes to when the compass in your body finally stops turning toward every distraction. The Listening Room isn’t about strategy. It is about felt experience: the warmth of breath the distance between the ribs and the word “enough” the silence that isn’t void but resonance Men who come here don’t come because life has been dramatic. They come because their internal geometry is asking for clarity. Not narrative, not advice, not fixing. They come when: language drops into the body first truth no longer lives as an idea but as sensation presence outlives urgency the next step is felt before it’s thought...
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When Men “Clear Out” Their Lives: What Decluttering Really Reveals

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There is a moment some men reach, usually quietly, often invisibly, when the internal structures holding their lives together begin to loosen. From the outside, it can look like an ordinary purge: books given away rooms emptied objects thrown out files deleted old clothes bagged up But underneath, something else is happening. This kind of clearing isn’t about minimalism. It’s about collapse management. When a man feels his identity slipping, when the role he’s been performing no longer matches the truth of who he is, the instinctive response is often to clear the physical environment instead of addressing the emotional root. It’s a way to avoid the deeper truth: “If I change my surroundings, maybe I can delay the inner reckoning.” But the psyche doesn’t work that way. Clearing becomes frantic. Order becomes control. The environment becomes a battlefield where the man tries to hold onto a version of himself that is already dissolving. And those around him fee...
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When Strength Isn’t Obvious

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Strength is easy to spot when it looks like force. When it arrives with noise, or speed, or the certainty that fills a room before the person does. But the kind of strength I meet most often in men is almost silent. It hides in small gestures. The pause before an old reflex, the breath taken instead of the sharp reply, the willingness to sit down rather than bolt. It’s the strength of someone who shows up even when he feels emptied out. Of someone who tells the truth in pieces because whole sentences are still too heavy. Of someone who is trying, quietly, not to repeat what hurt him. This strength doesn’t announce itself. It doesn’t sweep through the world proving anything. It lives in the nervous system, in the subtle unclenching of the shoulders, in the decision to stay present for one more minute than last time. Sometimes men think they’re failing because their strength doesn’t look like the stories they were taught. But the work they’re doing. The inner, unphotograph...
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The Listening Field: How Men Heal When They Are Truly Heard

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There is a moment in every man’s life when the outer strategies stop working. Not because he has failed, but because the old way of holding himself — upright, competent, self-managed — becomes too narrow for the truth inside him. Most men don’t name this moment. They just feel the quiet pressure behind the ribs. A restlessness. A sense of being slightly out of phase with their own life. This is where real listening begins. The Listening Field is not therapy, advice, or correction. It is a space where a man’s internal world becomes audible — even to himself. Most men have never spoken from that depth. Not because they are unwilling, but because no one has ever held a field steady enough for their truth to appear without collapsing into shame, apology, or performance. When a man is truly heard, something reorganizes. His inner weather clears. He finds the real sentence beneath the rehearsed one. His ambition softens into direction. His anger reveals the boundary it...
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